Well I have'nt posted for awhile . Lots has happend since I first signed up .  My father was diagnosed with Bone Cancer .  He is remarried to a woman who to say nicely hates anything to do with my dads life befor her .  SO  he was terminal .  Its seems like some horrible nightmare the last year has been a ride .  Ups and downs hospitals and at home care givers ,long nights , and days all seem to have run into one another .  The one thing that would put a smile on my fathers face and break through his pain filled days was talk of the daily activities on our farm which he misses  since he moved to town with his new wife three years prior .  Talk of what I was doing with the new colts and telling me not to slack in riding because no matter what he said  thats when Ill be with you even when Im gone  he would tell me that feeling you get when your breezing out a young horse   he would say would be him . Then of coarse I would cry and  say ahh dad u are going to be ok .  Well he passed away to that big palce in the sky the only relief is that he is not in pain and he is with my mother who passes 13 years ago from cancer as well .  Srry this entry is so bleak but they have told me if I write  or talk to someone about it . that it might help so I gave it a try .  Oh on a happier note  MERRY CHristamas to everyone :)